Saturday, November 28, 2009

Vampires can suffer from low blood sugar

Dracula caused himself to go into diabetic shock from binge eating left over Halloween candy corn. He remained unconscious for several weeks. When he finally came to, he was unaware that he had completely missed Thanksgiving. His answering machine was filled with concerned messages. Frankenstein called three times.

He returned a few calls to reassure his friends and acquaintances that he was in fact alright (still undead). He made a halfhearted attempt to clean up the stale candy corn off the floor and tossed a handful into the trash can in the kitchen.

He opened the fridge, took out a carton of spoiled milk and poured it down the drain. Expired eggs, stale bread and moldy cheese all joined the empty milk carton in the trash and then he remembered. He opened the freezer door and there is was, a giant frozen twenty pound turkey.

He stared and thought, "Well, what the fuck do I do with this?"