the banshee was sick and tired of wailing every time someone was going to die. it was exhausting. she had been saddled with the responsibility for centuries and quite frankly, it was pretty depressing.

all she really wanted was to go to an office, do something mindless, go home and collect a check. simplicity was what she longed for.

they hired her on the spot. she would be processing claims for vampire dental insurance. during her week long training class she learned dental insurance jargon, how to properly use the phone system, computer programs and basic customer service. most of friday was spent learning about the more complicated and expensive procedures such as fang removal, fang replacements and the various materials they could be fashioned from. it was all so fascinating to her and just so different from wailing and crying all day.

the following monday she came into the office and was escorted to her very own cubicle, with her very own phone and headset. slightly nervous she sat down and got straight to work.

call after call she spoke to disgruntled vampires who were angry and upset that their claim was denied, reversed or rejected for some nondescript administrative reason. she was completely unprepared, overwhelmed and worried that she had made a huge mistake. filled with some optimism, she decided to give it a few weeks to see if the situation improved.

friday came and she was elated to leave the office. she couldn’t understand how anyone could do this day in and day out. it was torture. all weekend long she was filled with anxiety about returning to the office on monday, but was committed to give it one more week.

by wednesday she could barely take it. every single call was someone more infuriated than the vampire before. jaded, she didn’t even try to sugar coat the bad news she delivered anymore. her headset felt like a vice crushing her head, her cubicle was a corral confining her to the tiny box she lived in 8 hours a day.

thursday morning, she reluctantly shuffled in and slumped down into her seat. her first call was from an elderly vampire who had a fang replacement and wanted to dispute the claim. the banshee calmly attempted to explain the bill to the vampire, but he didn’t want to hear it. expletives poured out of his mouth, directly into her ears. stunned she sat and listed. her silence only enraged him further. instantly, he screamed into the phone, “you bitch, i’m going to rip your throat out.”

and that was it. she stood up and screamed, “fuck you grandpa.”

and not a second later she slammed down her head set, escaped her cubicle and ran toward the door as fast as she could. (crying and wailing all the way.)